The 2016 Draft

The NHL draft is less than a week away, and the Buffalo Sabres have a number of picks, including the 8th overall.  It’s no #2 like last year but it’s still a nice place to be.  Now, I haven’t been watching Junior Hockey, so instead of waxing on at length about stride length or showing you the same video you’ve probably seen everywhere else, I’m going to judge these guys on the next most important thing – their answers to the dumb questions you get asked at pre-draft.

1. Auston Matthews – Presumptive number one overall pick Auston had some solid answers, but negative 1000 points for “I dream of:  winning the Stanley Cup”.  Contrast that with…
2. Patrick Laine – …who said he wants to be the best player in the world.  He loves Ovechkin and is ‘afraid of nothing’.  Can’t think of any alarm bells here!
3. Jesse Puljujarvi – Puljujarvi is top 5 for 2016 draftees whose names will be misspelled on jerseys.
4. Matthew Tkachuk – One of the possible targets for the Sabres, the son of Keith Tkachuk, Matt nevertheless gets negative one million points for having Tom Brady as his most admired athlete.  It’s a good thing nobody can navigate the shitty NHL website and find this.
5. Alexander Nylander – Another player following in his father’s footsteps, at the buffet, Alex goes for…sushi?  If I saw a buffet that had sushi, I’m turning around and getting out of there.  Regular buffet food is bad enough.
6. Jakob Chychrun – Another legacy player, with a dad and uncle who made the show, Jakob at least showed some effort on his answers.  His karaoke song is “Call me maybe”, I’m proud of him for admitting that.
7. Charles McAvoy – The coolest person he’s ever met is…Auston Matthews?  Boston U can’t find a celebrity to hit the locker room?  Also, Charles McAvoy is definitely the name of a kid in witness protection who really loves the X-Men movies.

In general, I question kids today and their judgement of comedy.  Too many list Adam Sandler as the celebrity that always makes them laugh.  Sandler hasn’t been funny since most of these prospect were five years old.